Fathers—Helping Them Achieve Their Critical Role
Article Outline
This year has been challenging for me in terms of writing editorials. With this being my last year as editor, I want to be sure I share with you my thoughts and beliefs on topics that are both relevant to pediatric nurses in advanced practice and close to my heart. I realize that many of the editorial topics I have selected over the years have been influenced by my passion for growth and development. I have always found this to be a critical area that we can influence in the variety of roles we play with children and their families in primary care, acute care, and specialty areas.
One specific aspect that has always been of interest to me is the influence of fathers on their children, and particularly on their daughters. I know in my heart this interest comes from my own experiences with my father. He certainly never took a child and development course, and I doubt he attended many (if any!) of my health care visits, but he served as a powerful influence on my own growth and development. His view that I could accomplish what I wished with the appropriate knowledge, skill, and effort kept me going through many tough times. I never felt he wished I had been a son. Indeed, the older I get, the more I realize what an important influence he was, and I continue to feel those effects even today.
Currently I see my son struggle to be the best father he can be for his daughters. He too has not taken any growth and development courses, but he does get encouragement from his daughter’s health care provider (a nurse practitioner) to be actively involved in all aspects of his daughters’ lives. I see the positive effects of these fathering behaviors as these girls are developing into young women. Thus, as Father’s Day approaches, I would like to take this opportunity to once again encourage all of us to do what we can to promote the role of the father.
Fortunately, we have many opportunities to demonstrate and teach fathers about the important role they can play with their daughters. Unfortunately, this influence can be either positive or negative, so I hope we can work to help fathers learn about and recognize the powerfully positive role they can play in their daughters’ lives. A father’s contributions to his daughter’s growth and development can be made whether the father is in the home or not. Of course, fathers who are not in the home may have to work harder, but they still can have a positive effect on their daughter’s life. This paternal influence is broad and affects the girls’ lives physically, socially, and cognitively. For example, Jackson (2003) found that middle-class African American fathers can play an important role in their adolescent daughters’ psychological development. Girls who were close to their fathers, whether they lived in the home or not, were found to have less depression. Another study of sixth graders (Kosterman, Haggerty, Spoth, & Redmond, 2004) found that fathers have a powerful influence in preventing antisocial behaviors in their sixth-grade daughters. This effect was more powerful for fathers than mothers. Thus Fathers who are involved with their daughters during middle childhood may help prevent some antisocial behaviors later on in adolescence. Another study of fourth graders by McGrath and Repeti (2000) found that fathers were an important influence on the girls’ academic success and on their daughters’ views of themselves.
The aforementioned studies are not a comprehensive review of literature on the effects of fathering on their daughters’ growth and development, but they do highlight some of the different ways in which fathers can positively influence the development of their daughters. So, then, we must consider how this paternal influence can occur. An interesting qualitative study by Way and Gillman (2000) gives some insight into how adolescent girls perceive their relationships with their fathers and what they desire. These early adolescents (11-13 years) wanted activity-oriented relationships with their father, such as involvement in school and sports activities as well as conversations and discussion about these topics as well as the world at large. They also noted they felt protected by their fathers and wanted more from their fathers. We can help fathers achieve such a role by discussing with them how to do it and what to do, that is, the activities they should do. I believe we can encourage fathers to do three major activities, “the how,” with their daughters: (a) communicate, (b) have fun, and (c) teach knowledge and skills. The content of these activities, “the what,” will vary with the child’s age, but fathers should teach their children about many aspects of the world, from male-female relationships to how to negotiate the larger world.
From early infancy on we can encourage fathers to communicate with their daughters, emphasizing that communication means talking and listening. Communication is much more than “talking to” or stating a rule. Sometimes this communication can be combined with another activity, such as walking the dog, playing a game, or reading a book. That activity can take a secondary role, because the primary focus is for the father to learn what his daughter is thinking and feeling and to share his views, beliefs, and values. A good communication pattern established early in childhood can then carry on into adolescence. The activity may vary, but the pattern of communication will be part of the child’s life.
The “have fun” aspect is important too. From infancy on, fathers often are viewed as the playful parent; they are the bouncers and game-players. Fathers should be encouraged to continue these fun activities as the daughter gets older. Sometimes by middle childhood the play activities with daughters disappear as the focus switches to school and teaching lessons; indeed, the physical-type interactions may totally disappear as the young girl matures. We can encourage fathers to continue to find opportunities to have fun times with their daughters, including physical activities and good hugs! Fathers still can teach and maintain a parental role, but the daughter will learn that interactions with her father can be fun times to anticipate, not all discipline and punishment.
What fathers can and should teach is limitless. Certainly fathers are teaching daughters many things about themselves, as girls, as family members, as students, as citizens, etc. This teaching is the way the father can share with his daughter his values and belief system. Daughters are more likely to listen in the content of activities and an ongoing relationship. Isolated lectures or an intermittent discussion just won’t do it! Two good books you might find helpful or recommend to parents are What a Daughter Needs From her Dad by Michael Farris (2004) and Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker. Both books provide excellent suggestions and ideas for strengthening father-daughter relationships in today’s challenging world.
So once again I encourage all of you to do what you can to promote stronger father-child relationships, especially between fathers and daughters. We may be the ones who have the opportunity in a variety of settings (clinic, hospital, school, and community) to teach fathers about the importance of their role and to suggest strategies to promote stronger relationships with their children. There is no downside to this approach; both the fathers and children (and other family members) will benefit. This truly is a win-win situation—so try it!Meeker, 2006
References
- . What a daughter needs. Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House; 2004;
- . African-American adolescent girls and fathers: Paternal contribution to depression, self-efficacy, and religiosity. Dissertation Abstracts International: Section B: The Sciences and Engineering. 2003;64:422
- . Unique influences of mothers and fathers on their children’s antisocial behavior. Journal of Marriage and Family. 2004;66:762–778
- . Mothers’ and fathers’ attitudes toward their children’s academic performance and children’s perceptions of their academic competence. Journal of Youth and Adolescence. 2000;29:713–723
- . Strong fathers, strong daughters. Washington, DC: Regnery Publishing Inc; 2006;
- . Early adolescent girls’ perceptions of their relationships with their fathers: A qualitative investigation. Journal of Early Adolescence. 2000;20:309–331
PII: S0891-5245(07)00009-0
doi:10.1016/j.pedhc.2007.01.007
© 2007 National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners. Published by Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
